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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:10 pm
PostPost subject: Rumor Around Town ...... Reply with quote
Anyone hear the press conference of Cancer Stick tonight?

Jennifer Hammond asked Leyland about the SCRATCHES on Miguel Cabrera's face today.

Cancer said that he didn't see them. THEY ARE EVIDENT.

BIG RUMOR is that he was WASTED last night. Drinking until 6 in the MORNING.

The scratches?

His girlfriend beat him up.

NO FUCKING JOKE.

On the eve of the biggest game of the year, OUR SUPERSTAR was ALLEGEDLY getting hammered and bitch-scratched by a broad.

And the only one in the MEDIA with the BALLS to even bring it up to Cancer Stick was JENNIFER HAMMOND.

I mean, you can't make this shit up!

The night just got worse.

Goose Loonies II: Electric Bugaloo.
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That Mike Shake Kid
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:11 pm
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I am now aware of said rumor.
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Y2K
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:13 pm
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The only Electric Boogaloo that matters is Breakin' 2.
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BoKnows wrote:
The kid's a raging slappy. On both counts.

Someone please deny it.

NINE wins for MSU this year? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, they aren't that good.


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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:14 pm
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I will admit, I don't know how to spell "Boogaloo".

A little proud of that fact.
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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:15 pm
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Who is Cabrera's special lady friend?

Tawny Kitaen?
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Bryan



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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:16 pm
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Does that make double sauce or a juice plus sauce?
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Rusty



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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:18 pm
PostPost subject: Re: Rumor Around Town ...... Reply with quote
Jeff Moss wrote:
BIG RUMOR is that he was WASTED last night. Drinking until 6 in the MORNING.


Pete Klima says hello.
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Y2K
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:18 pm
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"I'll make you speak English with this knife!"
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BoKnows wrote:
The kid's a raging slappy. On both counts.

Someone please deny it.

NINE wins for MSU this year? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, they aren't that good.


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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:18 pm
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I heard Hammond ask the question.

I thought she was alluding to the fact that he got into a fight with one of his teammates.

Did a little snooping around.

No wonder some nights the guy looks like Albert Pujols and some nights he looks like Albert Dale.

No offense to AD. Because the guy is an icon.

But I wouldn't want him hitting fourth in the Tigers lineup.
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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:21 pm
PostPost subject: Re: Rumor Around Town ...... Reply with quote
Rusty wrote:
Jeff Moss wrote:
BIG RUMOR is that he was WASTED last night. Drinking until 6 in the MORNING.


Pete Klima says hello.


No comment.
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Justin Spiro
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:32 pm
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Cabrera is married.

So it was either his wife or his mistress.

Why do we care about this stuff again?

Hossa is out partying when I thought he might be suicidal.

Cabrera is out getting wasted before a must-win game.

I mean.

What a joke.

If the players don't care, why should we?

I hate me.
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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:34 pm
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I wonder if Cabrera and Hossa are worried about my upcoming arbitration over a fire loss at a bar in Indiana.

You think they are losing sleep over the outcome?

Fuckers.
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:40 pm
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Justin Pudge Rumor wrote:
Cabrera is married.

So it was either his wife or his mistress.

Why do we care about this stuff again?

Hossa is out partying when I thought he might be suicidal.

Cabrera is out getting wasted before a must-win game.

I mean.

What a joke.

If the players don't care, why should we?

I hate me.


A Bronx Tale

Good movie.

Great line.

Chazz Palminteri.

I'm paraphrasing.

"Mickey Mantle makes 100 grand a year, you think he gives a rats ass about you? So why do you care about him?"

Worst part about all of this is that Pudge Rumor knows FIRST HAND that athletes HATE the fans.

HATE.
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Jeff Moss
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:42 pm
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Way to throw Jack Johnson under the bus.
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:43 pm
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I have become much more jaded about athletes after hanging out with a few of them.

They hate us. They think we are losers.
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Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:44 pm
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Bam.
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MLIVE.com Marker



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:35 am
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Justin Pudge Rumor wrote:
Cabrera is married.

So it was either his wife or his mistress.

Why do we care about this stuff again?

Hossa is out partying when I thought he might be suicidal.

Cabrera is out getting wasted before a must-win game.

I mean.

What a joke.

If the players don't care, why should we?

I hate me.


It was a realization similar to this a long time ago that made me change the way I view sports permanently. Mine had more to do with the corporate side of things and how fucking stupid I was for much of the same reasons you've detailed here and in the other Tiger thread.

I finally realized that being pissed off/upset/sad a LOT more than I'll ever be happy for some stupid organization that is more interested in getting my money was not worth it anymore.

Sports are a nice distraction and I'll get into them here and there... but this whole idea that teams are WORTH rooting for unconditionally is so fucking stupid. I'll never go back to being that way. They are not worth that kind of time/energy/sacrifice.

The losses hurt way more than the wins feel good when you are in that mode. At least that is how it was for me.

One example: When the Pistons won a championship in 89, I was ridiculously happy for a few weeks and then it fades (though it does remain). The year before when they lost to the Lakers a game after that shitty Laimbeer/Jabbar incident, I was probably upset for two months.

Fuck that.

I was already in the mode I am now in 2004-2005 during the Pistons run and I can still say that the championship is one of my favorite sports memories of all time... but those losses in the finals the next year STILL felt way worse than 2004 felt good.
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DFox



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:52 am
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He said it was his dog - http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/10165282/Cabrera%27s-cuts-indicative-of-Tigers%27-late-swoon
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:27 am
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Miguel might want to go 4-5 with 2 HRs and 5 RBI today.

Holy shit.
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:08 am
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Why is BM making it seem like he EVER invested himself emotionally when it's WELL-KNOWN that he never has?

The guy was at ONE Tiger game in 2006.

Shut up.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:20 am
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I was not talking about the Tigers you fucking idiot. I was talking in general -- even for teams that I follow religiously.

We all know you wrote the book on being a fan. Go enjoy being miserable every day.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:45 am
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Brown Marker is terrible.

And now a bunch of people who read MLIVE.com know it.

http://blog.mlive.com/stoneyexpress/2009/10/cabreras_face_raises_questions.html
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:53 am
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Stop starting rumors Jeff.

He's our best player.

Can't this wait?

And, yes, I'm kidding.
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:55 am
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Maybe it will motivate his ass to do something today.

I like the guy.

But if this rumor is true and he was out to all hours of the night getting wasted on the eve of a HUGE game .......

He would have to go.

I wonder if they would be able to get Jimmy Carson back in return.
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:58 am
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They are NOT going to trade Miguel.

He could have been balls deep in a hooker's asshole last night and they wouldn't trade him.

Stop.
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:59 am
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Oh.

And for the new Stoney fans who aren't familiar with the DSR.

Cancer Stick = Jim Leyland.

Sometimes we get lazy and just call him Cancer.

When we get bored calling him Cancer or Cancer Stick, sometimes we refer to him as Emaciated Hitler.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:03 pm
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DHall2 wrote:
They are NOT going to trade Miguel.

He could have been balls deep in a hooker's asshole last night and they wouldn't trade him.

Stop.


Maybe.

Maybe not.

Just sit back and think about it for a second.

If UNDENIABLE evidence came out that he was getting wasted the night before THAT game, you don't think they would CONSIDER moving him for the right price?

By the way, Sea the Stars was ridiculously good today in the Arc de Triomphe. Best horse I have seen since Dubai Millenium.

That had no business being in this thread, just wanted the Stoney readers to get their daily dose of horse racing knowledge.
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JB



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:26 pm
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http://www.freep.com/article/20091004/SPORTS02/91004016/1319/Cabrera--No-comment-on-scratches

IT sounds like he might say SOMETHING after the game today. WHo knows.
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:26 pm
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If undeniable evidence comes out that forces the Tigers to trade him for Manny Ramirez or Albert Pujols or some other stud fine.

It's not going to happen though.

Even if he did 100 shots on Friday night.
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:44 pm
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Look, DRUNK the guy is a better hitter than ANYONE else on the team.

But on the last day of the season, with the team TIED for first place and in the middle of a monumental meltdown (not choke), the GM is answering questions if his best player was ARRESTED this weekend!!!!

And the GM couldn't even confirm that the dude WASN'T ARRESTED.

Unfuckingreal.
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Bryan



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:49 pm
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There's always the fact that he's 5 for 22 between a week ago today and his wife kicking his ass on Friday night. Don't really care if he drops acid and sticks his head in a toaster oven. I'm much more concerned that's he's 5 for 22 during a 6 game stretch at this point in the season.
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:56 pm
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Was he arrested?
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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DHallisaBitch2



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:20 pm
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The Sox must think he's sober because they just walked him.
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To a 5'6" guy in AFFLICTION gear? Are you serious? No problem. Bring them to me. Tossing midgets is fun. There's a kid at the gym that I go to who rocks a UFC hat and all this other garbage. He probably weights a buck 40. It would be hilarious.
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Petro1212



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:05 pm
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who pitches tuesday, porcello?
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Y2K
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:06 pm
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That's the probable starter, according to FSD.
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BoKnows wrote:
The kid's a raging slappy. On both counts.

Someone please deny it.

NINE wins for MSU this year? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, they aren't that good.


Orthodox for life
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MLIVE.com Marker



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:27 pm
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You don't pinch run for Laird.

Fucking stupid.
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Jordan B. Acker
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:31 pm
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Brown Marker wrote:
You don't pinch run for Laird.

Fucking stupid.


I wonder if they send him home if they have 4-4 Magglio and not Clete Thomas on deck.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:34 pm
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It was a short fly. Seemed like a weird thing to do to send a guy that has a gut.
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Jordan B. Acker
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:45 pm
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via Jason Beck @ Twitter:

Dombrowski on Cabrera: "We had a conversation of a personal nature. I am aware of what took place."

Looks like Moss may be right...
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:42 pm
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According to my sister, the DSR is now linked to the main page of AOL.

How long before the whole country realizes that DHall likes to lick his wife's ass?
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Fool



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Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:57 pm
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If it was [Shani's Husband] with the scratches on his nose I would point out that Babe Ruth drank 5ths like guys nowadays drink Gatorade.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:07 pm
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For the unitiated, we here at the DSR changed the word censor so everytime someone types B.randon I.nge, it is changed to [Shani's Husband].

Because the douche bag let his wife cried to the media (Read: Bernie Smilovitz) when he lost his starting gig at third base last year.

Among other reasons.

Being a career .230 hitter among them.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:10 pm
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http://mlb.fanhouse.com/2009/10/04/miguel-cabreras-mangled-face-a-mystery/
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:11 pm
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It is so awesome that the main page has the following as its top story:

Hamilton is a Selfish Bitch
(January 13, 2009)
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:12 pm
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I doubt anyone is going to the main page.

I at least hope nobody does.
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:14 pm
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What has this world come to that the main page of AOL has a link to this awful website with this rumor?

I am guessing that Mickey Mantle wouldn't have fucked half the trim he did if he played during the Internet era.

Or John F. Kennedy for that matter.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:15 pm
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I wonder if Pudge Rumor will regret posting his phone number.

How many hits is the site getting since that AOL/MLB story broke?
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Jeff Moss
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:16 pm
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There have been 20 to 40 people browsing all day long. Mostly guests obviously.

The thing about this is, once it is on AOL it will go viral and we probably will continue to get traffic from this nonsense.

Pudge Rumor should really take his phone number down.

Although knowing that kid, he would enjoy the attention. Maybe he can meet some new friends to take to the Tigers suite.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:19 pm
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I started to type something when he posted it because spam bots come through and steal email addresses.... but then I thought about it and I don't think they go after phone numbers.

I didn't anticipate Next Level happening when I did that this morning.
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Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:09 am
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http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4532687
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