Any longtime or even new reader of this website is very familiar with my frequent attacks on members of the Detroit Sports Media.
 
Most of my venomous writings receive little to no response from the intended target (with the notable exception of that idiot Terry Foster), but there is one particular recipient who quite often will get defended by his friends in this market after I’ve gone off on him.
 
And that person is Free Press blogger and 97.1 borer Jamie Samuelsen. 
 
Whenever I mock Jamie for his idiotic opinions or point out that he is the human equivalent of watching paint dry, I get emails or Direct Message Tweets from his media brethren along the lines of:
 
“Why are you so mean to Jamie?” or “Why don’t you give him a chance?” or “What is your problem with JB?”
 
The answer to those questions isn’t personal.  I have only met Samuelsen on a few occasions and he has always been fairly cordial. 
 
As a matter of fact, he once informed me that I was a better writer than him which would be the equivalent of Gerald Laird telling Albert Pujols that the new Angels first baseman is the superior hitter.  But it was still a nice thing to say, I guess.
 
So no, my complaint with Samuelsen isn’t personal in nature but can be explained as follows:
 
1)    On the radio his Tapioca pudding personality and absolute refusal to embrace anything remotely controversial makes for a laborious listen.
 
2)    His Twitter account is a combination of bad jokes, pimping his new 97.1 radio show (like anyone cares about a program that on most night airs from 6 to 6:45pm) and directing us to his wife’s Yuppie blog posts.
 
(I have said it before and I will say it again, if my wife decided to start blogging and the topics were how proud she was of her child lying to her and the struggle of meeting other couples with similar interests, not only would I NOT RE-TWEET that embarrassing garbage, I would hire the handyman who works on my rental properties to properly address the situation.)
 
3)    His coma inducing performances on the Fox-2 Lions pregame show and Sportsworks. 
 
I am not sure if Fox-2 General Manager Jeff Murri left a suicide note last week when he killed himself, but if he did it wouldn’t shock me if he mentioned  the abomination that has become the station’s Sunday Lions programming.
 
Look, who hasn’t thought of shooting themselves in a church parking lot while watching Ryan Ermanni and Samuelsen drone on?
 

Even though this website prides itself on covering the Detroit sports media scene, I wasn’t planning on listening to the debut of new WDFN Program Director/Afternoon Drive host, Eric Chase, on Wednesday.
 
First off, I had a busy day at work and couldn’t listen to the entire “Howard Stern Show” so I was getting ready to catch up on the latest “Ass Napkin” Ed news as opposed to tuning into 1130’s latest horrid hire.
 
Secondly, I really had no interest in listening to a Top 40 disc jockey pontificating on the Prince Fielder signing.   If I wanted an in-depth breakdown on the possibility of Miguel Cabrera transitioning to third base, I tend to go national...with someone like Keith Law, Ryan Seacrest or Rick Dees.
 
 

But then I was informed by a Twitter follower of mine that outgoing DFN PD Mike McCoy was asking “Dance all Night” Chase some of the questions in my infamous email to McCoy from a couple weeks ago.
 
(You can read check out that email exchange by clicking here: http://bit.ly/wEoLIN)
 
 
So like a gawker driving up to a six-car accident on I-275, I had to tune in and rubberneck.  And while I wasn’t expecting much, even I couldn’t fathom the utter abomination I was about to hear.
 
I only caught the end of the questioning by McCoy, a man whose own management of the channel has left the once popular station in shambles.  Of course, McCoy was only a custodian for the gig after Rona Danziger and Til Levesque assassinated the former #1 sports talker in Detroit with their complete inaction.
 
Upon a return from a commercial break, Art Regner and Chase started discussing various sports topics.  In the half-hour in which I listened to the show, I heard Chase make the following comments:
 
1) He asked Regner if former Montreal Canadiens goalie, Ken Dryden, was “any good.”  Umm, okay.  I GUESS if you weren’t a huge hockey fan, you might not know that Dryden is in the HOCKEY HALL OF FAME. 
 
Call me bi-polar, but if I was hiring a new PROGRAM DIRECTOR at a SPORTS station, I’d probably want him to know if a five-time Vezina Trophy winner and six-time Stanley Cup champ was, like …. “ANY GOOD.”
 
(Mehmet to Eric Chase: The Vezina Trophy is awarded to the best goaltender in the NHL every season.  The goalie is the guy who stands in front of the net with a bunch of extra equipment on his body and he also wears a mask.)